No interest in dating after divorce
By the time most men divorce they have felt beaten up by their spouse, their kids, and the court process. Their views on love and relationships may be shattered.
To combat this, most men would be best served creating a narrative that puts a positive spin on things.
Having people to share time with and be interested in you can help you get back to being the person that you really want to be. I of course have to put my two cents in and offer the woman’s perspective on this post.
Regarding #1, “Develop your divorce story,” I think it is very very important. AND, if you keep telling people all the details, YOU won’t heal, either.
Dating After Divorce by Jason Price, LFMT In my therapy practice I work with a lot of divorcing men who are trying to adjust to life after their divorce.
One of the common themes that I encounter is that men want the companionship of someone else, but are scared of the process of dating.
Once you set up a profile (ask friends for help), what you are likely to witness is many people being interested in you, not being turned off by the fact that you are divorced, and that it feels really good to be communicating in the dating world. Many men long for some of the comforts that were afforded in their marriage. home cooked meals, laundry etc.) and that causes them to rush to find their next partner.
Whether it is the decision to stay together or divorce, dealing with extramarital affairs or other areas of conflict, he has had success helping couples identify the underlying problems in their relationship and develop a healthy life together.
Reply I guess this is less of a comment and more of a question for advice. I have been seperated now for almost 6 months, although I have been both emotionally and physically removed from my marriage for almost a decade. I sat across from a woman who turned my dormant heart and soul flowing again and I simply can't explain in words the feeling - it was something I almost didn't recognize having been so long.
I was..one of those guys who simply did not want to date. I had no idea she was divorced - she had no idea that I was getting a divorce. But we were never both "available" for either of us to act on our feelings. I guess in a way, we are going to take things slow but i really don't want to mess things up.
I can’t tell you the number of guys I talk to who when asked why they got divorced roll their eyes and then just start complaining about what a huge bit** their ex is. Jason is right that you need a “story.” Not a lie, just a polite couple of sentences that basically let people know you are moving on, that you aren’t playing the victim.
I also want to comment on #4, “Take it slow,” because I think Jason is dead on with this one.